I have had OCD since about the age of 3. However, I didn't know that it was OCD until I was about 14 years old. Up until that point I had done all that I could to keep the very nature of the thoughts and compulsions hidden. The subtype of OCD that I have suffered with most is 'Harm OCD' but I have also suffered to a lesser degree with 'Just Right OCD', 'Sensory Motor OCD' and 'Contamination OCD' It is not uncommon for people with OCD to experience more than one subtype. One of the things that I have noticed about my OCD is that I feel extremely responsible for everyone around me and that I want to do everything I can to keep not only myself safe but more importantly everyone else. One of my early recollections of OCD was when I was about 6 years old. At the primary school that I went to there were about 6 steps that led out from the school building in to the playground. When I finished the school day I would leave the building and walk down the steps. Most times I would see and feel twigs, stones and leaves on the steps under my feet and I would have the thought that if I didn't remove them then maybe someone would trip on them and fall down the steps and it would be my fault. This caused intense anxiety and to try and reduce this I would engage in a compulsion to pick up and remove twigs, leaves and stones from the steps. As I did this I was very aware of the other children and parents around me and felt very conscious that they might be watching me. Therefore, I tried to hide what I was doing from them as much as possible so that they didn't wander what I was doing.

For some reason, as a young child I seemed to have this unusual awareness of danger. I remember, that at school we had this climbing frame that during break time lots of the children used to play on. I can remember looking at my friends at the top of the climbing frame and wishing that I could be like them and climb to the top. However, somehow there was this fear that if I climbed to the top then something bad would happen and it would be my fault. Therefore, I used to wait until there were not many children on the climbing frame, when things felt safer, and then climb to the top. I always felt responsible for everyone around me and this is something that, throughout my life, has never changed.